May I Have a Serving of Hormones Please?

A friend of mine had to have the ol' female surgery and is recovering at home. Today, I got home from moving more of my mom's shit and got the following E mail:

Well, it has been 3 weeks since surgery. I feel fine and dandy. I tend to be a little slugish and need a afternoon nappy each day. I had a hormone patch the first week and lost a box so I decided to go without and see if I really needed those little ovaries. Things have been going fine and then I notice I was a little short with CW. Well, it was a bad day and I was in a hurry and she was driving wrong.

Then yesterday I got a call on my cell and could hear it but not find it. It sounded like it was coming from down in the couch. I looked and looked, pulled the cushions back, stuck my hand where no hand has gone before, actually picked up the edge and gave it a bounce to knock it out of wherever it was at. I decided to just cry and forget it. My phone was lost forever and I would never get another call. CW comes home and I am in a fetal position on the couch under a blanket. She inquires, from a distance, to my problem. I explained. She said she would call my phone and find it. It starts to ring, I get up off the couch and while standing there CW touches my front pocket. Yes, that right!! It was in my pocket. Well! I have not been wearing shorts with pockets until a day or two ago. I forgot...besides it sounded like it was in that satanic couch!!

Now, today is a new day so I had a few errands this morning. I went by sams to just renew my card. My Aunt called and I sit in the truck and talked to her a minute. I go in to get the card, need my business card, so I go back out to the truck and back in the store. When my business is done I go to leave and the truck is not there. No, it is not. I knew where I parked, it was right there! I start looking around for the camera's or some friends playing a trick but I see none. Finally, I see the truck about 4 lanes over, 3 feet from a huge light pole, just sitting there sideways in a parking place. How the hell?? I walked over there and "clicked" the lock, got in and everything looked fine. You tell me! Apparently when talking to my Aunt I left the truck running and put the gear in neutral so I could run the air conditioner and must have left it there. The parking brake was not on. I am insane!

It was a good thing it didnt hit someone, something or that damn huge light pole! I got in and drove home. I am back in the fetal position cover with a blanket and a schnoodle. I dont think I will get back out for a few days. Unless, I need to go get some of them hormones.

Unstable watching Cable

ROFLMAO ... this was a great finish to my day! Two storage buildings down, two more and a green house to go! Yeah!

Shamelessly stolen from CedarFlame.
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Words...Now and Then

Yesterday, I called my 79 year old mom on the way home from my workout.

Me: Hi mom. I am on the way home, do you need anything?

Mom: [very winded] No, I guess that I am ok.

Me: Why are you so winded? What have you been doing while I was gone?

Mom: I pulled some weeds in the garden and then I swept off the patio. It was really dirty after that little rain so I got out the blower and gave it a blow job.

Me: [silence…trying very hard not to laugh]

Mom: I guess you lost your signal …call me back when you can

She hung up on me and I almost wrecked my car I was laughing so hard!

Today, I had the whole day off from helping her so I went across the river. I ate lunch with Sharon and then went to find some new tennis shoes. I went to their bathroom and saw some really cool posters on the wall about running. I got a big laugh about one in particular:

The picture is of a guy decked out in running gear. The caption says, “Why do I run? I run because my girlfriend got a girlfriend.”