El What?

I have decided that it's way past time to start working out again! It isn't like I don't know what to do, I am just having difficulty making myself get into the habit. One of my friends is a personal trainer so I called her to get her to help me get started. Friday was my second visit. It was a leg day and I am very sure that I will be paying for it by Sunday. As I was leaving, my friend, LN, got a call from her sister cancelling their dinner plans. We had already been talking about our dinner plans, so I asked if she would like to join Sharon and me. We always go to a Mexican restaurant, Las Vias, on Fridays. They treat us like family and we even have “our” own table, the one they use for breaks.

She said that she would like to go out to eat with us but wanted us to go to the new Mexican restaurant, Maria Bonita. The restaurant is not your run of the mill Mexican fare but an infusion of Mexican-Italian with Mediterranean slant. I called home to see if Sharon was willing to come back into town for dinner. She was as long as I drove to the house and brought her back. An hour and 15 minutes later, we were walking into Maria Bonita for dinner. LN had gotten there about 15 minutes earlier and had the light vibrator that would signal that our table was ready.

I was checking out the art work on the wall that was done by one of my former students, Alex, and his brother, it was magnificent. He had been telling me about it for the last year. He works at Las Vias and his family owns several of the area’s Mexican Restaurants. Then I spotted Fernando who normally works at OUR restaurant. He saw us and came up and hugged me. He said that he was helping out and was working his ass off.

We finally got seated in a booth by the back wall. LN stopped as we got to the table, looked at me and laughed. She said that she assumed that I wanted the seat with my back to the wall. I smiled and said that I did, how did she know? She is the wife of one of my cop friends and she teased me about being able to take the girl out of policing but not the policing out of the girl.

The waiter, unknown nationality, brought us these huge 11x14 menus. The front of the menu had a picture of a woman and this long narrative in Spanish. I am a voracious reader and I couldn’t read a word! LN and I tried to read the Spanish words out loud and Sharon was laughing at us. Then Sharon tried to translate it for us. She only recognized a few words every now and then so her English translation was choppy at best and made absolutely no sense! We entertained ourselves for a long time with this hilarity. Finally, Adam, his wife owns “our” restaurant, saw us and came over to speak. He realized that we didn’t have drinks and only 2 sets of silver. He kidded with us and said that we would have to share because we were cheating! I asked Adam what he recommended on the menu and he suggested a shish kebob dish.

We laughed and talked for a while. Finally, the waiter returned and asked what I wanted. I told him that I wanted this dish that Adam had recommended. He pulls this handwritten list out of his pocket and says that he is sorry but they were out of that dish. Shit! I am a very finicky eater so it takes me a while to make a selection. Sharon ordered while I was trying to decide. The waiter slowly starts trying to write her order saying that he does not speak Spanish and the cooks don’t speak English. He is trying to copy the order off the menu so that the cooks know what to fix. Sharon pronounces the dish for him and all he can say is that he can’t pronounce most of the food on the menu! I look over at LN and she is trying not to laugh! Oh dear, what a cluster fuck! I order something else that they had and he finally asked LN what she wanted. She ordered and he started fumbling with “The List” again. You have got to be kidding me! She had ordered something that was on the list too. She told him to give her 5 minutes so off he went. We cracked up! The whole eating experience was bizarre!

LN finally decided on something else to order plus a backup in case it was on “The List.” The waiter did not return for a very long time! It was about 7:00 by now and we were seated around 6:15. We turned the menu over to look at their drink and dessert selections when we came upon the following selections:
El Tiramisu
El New York Style Cheesecake, and
El Chocoflan
ROFLMAO, LN and I just lost it. Tears were rolling down our faces. Sharon did not get what we found so very funny. I explained to her how bizarre it was to see “El” Tiramisu, an Italian dessert made Spanish only by the insertion of “El.” Then to see the other two was just too much!

The waiter finally came back and took LN’s order and our source of entertainment, the menus. Years later, he brought LN’s fajitas. About 10 minutes after that, he brought Sharon’s chicken dish. I told them to eat so it would not get cold. About 20 minutes later, he brought my fish (which I did not enjoy). By the time the food was on the table it was almost 8:00. Although very patient, I am not normally this patient but the night was most entertaining. Even Adam’s wife, the owner of “our” restaurant, came out of the kitchen to say hello and tease us about cheating on them. I asked her who was running her place and she told me that Alex was there all alone.

We had a great time. I am looking forward to trying it again in a few months. I will be sure to order the El Tiramisu next time!