The Garbage Can Man

My good friend, Cedar, called last night and requested that I tell the following story:

Toward the end of my career, I was given the responsibility of being in charge of a group of men whose assignment was to get in the face of the criminal element without crossing the line of legality. There were 5 of us in the unit. John G was in his mid-twenties, he is about 6’3,” slim, and muscular. Single and being a nice looking young man, he was a chick magnet. RA was a little older, single, and only about 6’. He had been in the military and was very aggressive in the pursuit of enforcing the law. Although not as good looking as John G, he filled out the uniform nicely and also attracted the ladies. Then there was JH. He also attracted his share of female attention. He was shorter than the others, maybe 5’9” or so, and had a fire plug build. He was the oldest of “my boys,” about 28. TM was the fourth member of my team. He had to be motivated to work but did a good job when he did. He was as tall as RA but heavier and although strong, much softer looking. He was married and was not allowed to play with the boys off duty. It was a great experience but also a major challenge trying to lead this group of head strong, testosterone-charged young men.

I was about 38 at the time and in pretty good shape. I had been assigned to the DARE unit for several years so had not had the opportunity to work with these guys on the street before becoming their sergeant. Although much more accepted than earlier in my career, women still had to prove themselves before they were allowed in the boy’s club. I surprised them daily with my willingness and eagerness to fight crime. I guess that I wasn’t much younger that their mothers and I treated them as if they were my boys. You can understand that they did not expect to see me jump into a fight, chase someone on foot, or run code to backup another unit. They expected me to be a burn out, avoiding calls, and just getting through the day with as little effort as possible. That just was not me as they were soon to discover.

One afternoon, we were headed to the training center on the south side of town when an officer called for help. John G was riding with me. RA and JH were riding together. TM was at the office taking care of some paperwork. We had our own channel, so I told the other unit to respond and help the officer. I flipped on lights and siren and off we went! I stole a look at John G after the first couple of defensive maneuvers and saw that he looked slightly nervous but awed at the same time. We arrived in the neighborhood where the officer needed help.

The neighborhood was by the fairgrounds. There are three streets that run parallel with two streets at each end. There is only one way to get in or out of the area. The officer said that he had been chasing a car, it wrecked, and the driver ran on foot. John G bailed out on the west side of the neighborhood and I drove to the east. RA dropped JH off on the south side and drove to the north. A couple of officers were on foot in the neighborhood looking for the driver.

I drove slowly up the street looking for anything that looked out of place. There was a great deal of radio traffic but they had lost sight of the driver. I passed this one house and saw a woman and two children standing just outside of their carport door. I pulled into their driveway, got out, and explained what we were doing in the neighborhood. The woman looked very nervous and I asked her if she had seen the guy. She did not say anything but looked at her open fence gate. I pointed for her to go back inside and went into her backyard. There was nothing there, no swing set, no trees, no plants, nothing but a large garbage can. The garbage can was one of the large plastic ones designed for the automatic arms of the garbage truck. The lid was permanently attached with a long hinge across the back. The lid was closed.

I pulled my weapon and pointed it at the can. I took my asp (expandable night stick) and flipped open the lid. Squatting down in the can was the guy we were looking for. He looked at me with the widest eyes I believe that I have ever seen. I yelled at him to let me see his hands! I leaned my chin over onto my shoulder mike to key it and told dispatch that I had the driver and my location. She never responded. What I did not know at the time was that people were talking over my transmission so no one heard me.

The guy just stayed there, frozen. I kept yelling for him to show me his hands and telling him that if I did not see his hands soon he would be a dead motherfucker. He did not move, just stared at me yelling at him with that deer in the headlights look still squatted down in that can. I yelled at him again, telling him to stand up nice and slow and show his hands. He did not move, did not blink, did not say a word.

All of the yards were fenced by chain link fencing. A few yards away, John G said that he heard yelling. He looked and saw me pointing my weapon at a garbage can. He couldn’t tell what I was saying but could tell that I meant business. He started running and clearing the fences like hurtles. When he was in the adjacent yard, he started yelling,”Sarge, sarge, don’t shoot him, I got your back!” He cleared the fence into the yard were I was. He told the guy in the can to put his hands on his head before I shot him. The guy shook his head like he was clearing cobwebs and slowly put his hands on his head. A couple of other officers arrived and tackled him, garbage can and all. They cuffed him and took him away.

I asked John G what charges they were putting on the guy, he told me misdemeanor stuff. Fuck! I almost shot someone over a misdemeanor? I was pissed that the officer had not mentioned that when he asked for help but it turned out all right. We got back in the car to leave. John G said, ”Damn, that was some great driving. I had no idea that you could drive like that.” Duh…what did he think, I drove the speed limit to all those calls for all those years? I laughed and said that I was pretty impressed with his hurtling, too. He told me that he did not want the garbage can guy to get shot because he was afraid to move! We laughed and went on to the training center. That was the day that I was accepted as a member of the unit in the truest sense of the word, welcome to the boys club once again.