Littering in the Park

On the banks of the river in the city where I worked is a high rise complex for older people. Its not quite assisted living or a nursing home but they do have a staff to take care of the residents. The building has 13 floors and each apartment has a balcony. Between the river and the building is a park and some railroad tracks.

Years ago, the park was nothing more than splotchy grass with a gazebo sitting in the middle of it. There are some fine old oak trees on the north end but the south end had nothing. A pork (slaughter house) processing plant sat on the east side of the park and a Blue Bell Packaging plant was on the other side of the slaughter house. The hogs would be brought in by rail, run through a series of corrals, and then someone would smack them in the head as they came out of a chute. Between the smell and the noise, not prime property then.

By the time that I started working there, both of the plants had all but been abandoned. When we were bored on second shift, we would take a tour. A gravel drive came off the road and circled the plant crossing the tracks on the north side. It was a great place for parkers or for kids to go drinking because they could not be seen from the road.

One very busy night, the residents in the tower kept calling dispatch complaining about someone parked on the grass in the park throwing litter on the ground. They got tons of calls from the tower about this. Dispatch just kept pushing the call to the back burner because we were so busy. I came in to dispatch to see if they needed anything after depositing someone in the hoosegow. They begged me to go run the people out of the park before I answered my next call because the old folks were driving them crazy.

I finished my paperwork and headed to the park. I spotted a Chevy Nova hatchback parked out in the park on the “grass.” It was pretty near the one and only street light. I could see that there was a Mackey Dees paper bag on the ground beside the car. I parked and started walking out to where the car was parked. I looked up at the towers and you would have thought there was a north and east side party going on! Every balcony was packed with people watching me. I was thinking, DAMN, these old folks are seriously bored or serious about littering! I have never seen such a sight as all these old folks on walkers and in wheelchairs hanging over the railing vying for the best position.

I had my flashlight out and shined it in the car where the driver should be, no one. I scanned the car only to see a shiney hiney poking up from the back. There were bare legs sticking out that could not possibly be attached to the hiney. I killed the flashlight. I tapped on the window to let the occupants know I was there and looked up at the tower. I could spot old men giving each other high fives and women covering their mouths. I even saw someone with binoculars. A ripple of excited talking drifted down.

I looked back into the car and the two young ladies were trying to get their clothes back on. Yepper, two young ladies! Have you ever seen two women trying to put on the same bra at the same time? It was a site I must admit! As they were jockeying for the correct arrangement of clothes, I was thinking about the view that the tower people had. It was a hatchback with the big glass hatch style door. They had a bird’s eye view of the whole thing. I started laughing. The girls did not see what was so funny until I told them to look up through the hatch window. They were mortified. The old folks had been too embarrassed to tell the dispatcher what was really going on so they complained about the littering.

The girls got dressed and picked up the trash. As they pulled out of the park, the balconies started to empty. I radioed dispatch that the trash hand been collected and the car was now gone. I left for my other call laughing the whole way!