Look What Was In KG's Christmas Stocking

All the female teachers in the math department along with a few other women eat together everyday in a very small teacher's lounge. We have been eating lunch together for several years and are territorial about our seating arrangement. I always sit beside my friend, KG, who was an engineer before becoming a teacher. Most of the women have never worked anywhere but within a school setting. KG and I are pretty quiet whereas the others try to talk over each other. It is so loud in that little room that OSHA should require earplugs.

The conversations, when they drift away from current gossip or complaints about students, quickly turn into children and church stories. Can I tell you that I don't care how many times your baby poops or the gorey details of labor and child birth! I am so tired of spending that glorious 22 minutes without kids listening to that crap! KG has a great sense of humor and she and I make comments under our breath to each other about the conversations. We roll our eyes alot too. Needless to say, off color jokes would not be appreciated in this setting.

When we came back from Christmas break, KG came into lunch and put her keys on the table. I did a double take. I started giggling but I never said anything. Finally, Tuesday, when she came to my room, I told her that her new "thumb drive" cracked me up! She said that I should have seen her face when her son and daughter (who is in middle school) pulled them out of their stockings. Her poor husband never thought a thing about what they looked like when he bought them as stocking stuffers for Christmas! She said that she hoped that her daughter didn't decide to take hers to school with her.

Yesterday, I brought Sharon's camera so that I could share with bloggerville. KG comes in to the lounge, throws her keys on the table. PS, a very conservative socialite; Karen, head of the math department; SM, our attendance clerk; and AS, a very uptight 'her baby is the only baby' science teacher, were already there. The conversation goes like this:
KG: Here
me: [giggling and getting out the camera]
PS: What is it?
KG: [dead panning] My toy.
SM: I thought it was a thumb drive. [nervous laughter]
PS: Why are you taking a picture?
me: I think it's funny!
KG: R bought it for my Christmas Stocking, it's great!
PS: It looks like a dildo, what's it for?
KG, SM, and me: ROFL
KG: It's a memory stick.
Karen: You said dildo, giggling, it does look like one. One time, this neighbor of a friend of mine back in Saint Louis went into....
[shit, that didn't last long]